When you go into a store you frequent and you see the same cashier or service person do you tend to recognize them? I do. They, however tend not to remember me. Understandable, they encounter how many faces and personalities day in and day out? Then there is the thing with meeting people at church or friends introducing me to someone more than once, so often they have no idea they have met me before. After time I had felt myself sinking into the abyss of "woe is me," and then recently I saw the bright side. I am a super hero...... and I have the power of invisibility! How freaking cool is that! I get to have a do over often. Which is really good for me because my first impressions can come off a bit weird. I have actually talked to friends about this before. They are always surprised when I tell them that it is not always pretty. I practically stutter and what I find funny in my head does NOT always ring comical once spoken.....yikes! All is well as far as the strangers. I can handle not being "seen" or "known" with them. What about my family? Holy Toledo does it get annoying as a mom when I have said something a thousand times, if not a million (although my favorite number to pull out when in heated discussion is 42,000....no reason, just has a good ring to it I guess). I feel so crazy insignificant and the frustration rises to the boiling point and the thought passes, "What am I doing all this for? Am I making any difference in their world at all?" Of course I am, no matter what the feelings are screaming, I am the one He chose for this job. It wasn't because of my overwhelming qualifications or my stellar language abilities, or even because of the upbringing I had. No, it is because He knows I can do it, even when I myself am in doubt of that. I use the parental example for myself with this one, but it applies to most difficult, but necessary, situations in our lives. When do we stop trying to to prove that we, in fact, are not the best pick. That somehow there was a mistake made and obviously at some point we will be found out and the "We knew you were a poser" police will show up and haul us off to the jail for people like us. I am, surprisingly, being a bit over dramatic, but the theory stands. Own it!! I have to own it as do you! Own that I am not perfect, that I feel completely out of my league at times in life. That although having the power of invisibility has it's occasional perks, truthfully I would rather be recognized and memorable. It is ok to want to be wanted. It's ok to have a need for encouragement and relationship that hears and sees me. The time has come for me to accept me, and accept them. They love me and although my son consistently gets naked, my daughter has high pitched dolphin noises that no human ear can handle, and my teenager can give me the look of "are you kidding me" that gets me every time.....we are this amazing family. Whether your situations are family related right now or not, I think all can relate to my heart and apply the truths where applicable. I encourage you on your journey to be the superhero that you are, even if you ended up with the power you would not have necessarily picked fo yourself. Who knows, maybe as we get the hang of the intitial powers we will have morphing abilities and get new ones!
|
Is it getting fanatical that I keep posting 1st after these great convo peices? K--watching Ratatouille--isn't this a great example of this dialogue? All inspiring rat--who literally changes history in a culture (maybe THE culture)of cusine. Total Disney modernday fairytale yes, but common! It inspires me to the core to be great at something I long to be great at, but really have tiny pieces of greatness in. While being great encompasses so many different "flavors" for all of us, this one is especially true to my heart. The more I'm in the kitchen and creating, the better it becomes and seems not so hard to do. I am serving my family...not showing off these fun victories to anyone else usually...and the superhero emerges for the evening. Then, tucking the babies in bed, I hang up the suit until another day of stardum within our little kingdom. I'm truly filled in those moments. Last night we attempted (or I attempted) rosemary scewered chicken with drissled terriaki--grilled peppers and a small side salad. Nothing amazing, but to us, really fun! I learned to be courageous in the blank space of my kitchen from my friend Linette--who would often come to my home and pull ingredients I forgot I had, from cabinets, the frig, and where ever else available. I miss, so miss, those moments...but more than treasure the measure of bliss we had together there. I will never be the same and will continue to have her essense with me where culinary creations are concerned (not limited to only that of course)! I think Superheros morph superheros...where I am unable, the power to be able has been brought by the encouraging endless possibilities in a true friend! I am forever grateful and am a different Chrissy by this kind of personal--heart to heart--sister--forever marked by--friendship goodness! Superherodom at its Kingdom best! HUGS!
I am inspired by reading your life's stories, i am excited to be a tag-a-long in this adventure! And i see a book in the near future!
Chrissy...I love how you dive out there even into uncharted waters that are unsure. That is being authentic I think. I dig it! You are not afraid to fail, but quite the contrary you are willing to succeed!!! Bravo my friend. PS. you need to blog yourself, I love your visual writing!
LOVE this! I can identify with the fear of the "I knew you were a poser police". Wow, this is great. So glad to know you Linette. In the short time we've been friends, I feel so enriched by our friendship.