So, I am laying in bed thinking of my week to come when I all of a sudden remembered the ending to last week. Not the fun parts mind you, but the one thing that sticks out the most. The nasty cupcakes I actually sent to school with my daughter for a celebration they were having! And YES, I made them. Well, I baked them and the kids decorated them. So here is confession time, and a little piece of Linette real. I am a baked good control freak.....I am. I love to bake, it comes very easily for me. I create things off the cuff and most of the time they turn out pretty tasty. What I do not do well, is letting things leave my house, with my name attached, that should never be seen let alone eaten! My middle monkey wanted peanut butter and jelly cupcakes for her school. Easy enough, I can do that. I instantly formulate a plan in my mind of how I am going to carry out the desires of my girl and fulfill some of my kindergarten mom responsibility. It's baking...done...easy...so me, I am there! And I cannot lie, I am knowing that there is someone out there that will be impressed by the creativity and general wonderment of yumminess. (barf)
So what happened you ask? I'll tell you. First of all, I cheated and started with boxed cake mix. Ok, I will admit, I use them often for cake. I know, I know that is just wrong. But honestly, they usually turn out super tasty and then I make my own managerie of goodness for frosting. This time I decided the frosting would be peanut butter and I would put jelly in the middle of the cupcakes, for a surprise bite. Easy enough. So, off I went. I have been attempting to include the little ones in the kitchen whenever I can, this is growth for me. I would rather just power through and do my thing, but they both LOVE to be a part of mixing etc. All is well. I was pretty tickled as they went into the oven. Out they came looking great. I frosted them and let the kids sprinkle them with inappropriate sprinkles because ghosts and bats are not in demand around here normally, so butterflies and dinosaurs it is! Ok, light brown frosting with the occasional pastel colored cutout on top is not pretty. They looked sad....no really. The cupcakes looked dissappointed like "hey lady, we were really looking forward to being wanted.....what went wrong?" At this point I am thinking, hey this is all part of letting things be. I can be authentic and not care what people think, right? WRONG....I was thinking "authentic for me is a more along the lines of tasty and at least a little attractive!" I am horrified, but keeping my perspective healthy.
Moving forward, I decide to let it go. Looks aren't everything. So what. I will eat one and prove that it is all in my head. Ok, when you peel the paper off a cupcake, do you enjoy having the bottom of it resemble an open wound? No I am serious. The jam I used was the spreadable fruit kind, a bit thicker and darker in color. Well, apparently the heaviness of it dragged it to the bottom and it baked onto the paper liner. So when you peeled it, the majority of the jam was left on the paper and a gaping brownish-reddish hole was left in the cake. Ummmmmm.......yummy, NOT!!!!
So there I am, keeping my cool and struggling inside. What to do, what to do?? I took a bite. I did. The texture was squishier than normal with a moist dampness that was inexplicable. The flavor, surprisingly was not that bad....but everything else, well not good. Time was short and I was out of time for a do over. Everything in me was screaming I cannot send these as a first representation of what I do, right? Guess what....I sent them! Yikes, I know, but I did it! I am obviously scarred by the whole thing, but I did it and in some deep way I am actually proud of myself. The kids thought they were amazing. My husband is always the encouraging uplifter and said they looked awesome. He didn't eat one mind you. Then I had an epiphany of sorts, a sunnier side of the street realization. They are perfect.....it's halloween. People eat things like oozing wounds for this holiday. Just because I want to vomit at the mere thought of it does not mean everybody will, and maybe they want to. Who am I to say they can't? Alas, I am saved and I have grown a little even. Life is amazing! I just hope a little kid somewhere is not up nights because the nasty thing he ingested scared him from enjoying peaceful sleep.
So what happened you ask? I'll tell you. First of all, I cheated and started with boxed cake mix. Ok, I will admit, I use them often for cake. I know, I know that is just wrong. But honestly, they usually turn out super tasty and then I make my own managerie of goodness for frosting. This time I decided the frosting would be peanut butter and I would put jelly in the middle of the cupcakes, for a surprise bite. Easy enough. So, off I went. I have been attempting to include the little ones in the kitchen whenever I can, this is growth for me. I would rather just power through and do my thing, but they both LOVE to be a part of mixing etc. All is well. I was pretty tickled as they went into the oven. Out they came looking great. I frosted them and let the kids sprinkle them with inappropriate sprinkles because ghosts and bats are not in demand around here normally, so butterflies and dinosaurs it is! Ok, light brown frosting with the occasional pastel colored cutout on top is not pretty. They looked sad....no really. The cupcakes looked dissappointed like "hey lady, we were really looking forward to being wanted.....what went wrong?" At this point I am thinking, hey this is all part of letting things be. I can be authentic and not care what people think, right? WRONG....I was thinking "authentic for me is a more along the lines of tasty and at least a little attractive!" I am horrified, but keeping my perspective healthy.
Moving forward, I decide to let it go. Looks aren't everything. So what. I will eat one and prove that it is all in my head. Ok, when you peel the paper off a cupcake, do you enjoy having the bottom of it resemble an open wound? No I am serious. The jam I used was the spreadable fruit kind, a bit thicker and darker in color. Well, apparently the heaviness of it dragged it to the bottom and it baked onto the paper liner. So when you peeled it, the majority of the jam was left on the paper and a gaping brownish-reddish hole was left in the cake. Ummmmmm.......yummy, NOT!!!!
So there I am, keeping my cool and struggling inside. What to do, what to do?? I took a bite. I did. The texture was squishier than normal with a moist dampness that was inexplicable. The flavor, surprisingly was not that bad....but everything else, well not good. Time was short and I was out of time for a do over. Everything in me was screaming I cannot send these as a first representation of what I do, right? Guess what....I sent them! Yikes, I know, but I did it! I am obviously scarred by the whole thing, but I did it and in some deep way I am actually proud of myself. The kids thought they were amazing. My husband is always the encouraging uplifter and said they looked awesome. He didn't eat one mind you. Then I had an epiphany of sorts, a sunnier side of the street realization. They are perfect.....it's halloween. People eat things like oozing wounds for this holiday. Just because I want to vomit at the mere thought of it does not mean everybody will, and maybe they want to. Who am I to say they can't? Alas, I am saved and I have grown a little even. Life is amazing! I just hope a little kid somewhere is not up nights because the nasty thing he ingested scared him from enjoying peaceful sleep.
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Did the kids have comments? I think they probably loved your creation! God created bugs that gross me out, but some people are fascinated by them. There's room for everything (all things work together for good). (Vicki S)
You really impressed on me when I read that you sent them away!
God job Linette =D
You have changed over the years...
It is really fun reading this blog, it brings up so many memories.
Miss you sooo much!!!
Love you! Meems
Forgot to tell you that I was smiling most time when I was reading!!!
So you!!!
/ Meems
Yes Vicki, you are right. The kids thought they were great! That is really what mattered for this occasion anyway. Thanks for that :).
Meems....so glad you are enjoying it and feeling like you are with me in it! Love ya back!
I am totally looking forward to the next blog!! Keep em coming....
You did great Linette... I am sure the kids loved them. Such a wonderful surprise that the typical cupcake does not offer.
You are awesome!
Shee
These are getting better and better. TOTALLY a book must be written! I think some chapters are already written... hmmmm! Love it! and I do think I was able to taste one of those oh so marvelous and very creative Linette rejects! They always leave you wanting more my friend! Love you!
I think the rest of the planet does not have your discerning tastebuds as I've never seen and empty plate of your creations, as you so know how to layer the five senses in them, and YUMO! but if you bombed on these, somehow I don't really feel bad.....terrible, terrible friend!
All you ladies are amazing to support the nastiness of what I created....I thank you :)! I also Appreciate that you recognize my growth.....scary and awesome all at once.
This post is a crack-up in all its graphic glory. I can so relate, especially after Ethan's recent birthday party. (Attempting to properly space sprinkles on the cupcakes = insane!) I think I was trying to impress the adults at his party instead of pleasing the kids. At least Camdyn's class consists primarily of children who love ANYTHING with frosting. No worries! Glad you threw caution to the wind and sent them along.
Oh my gosh, that was funny. I enjoyed reading the whole story, what mom has not made some faux pas in her cooking even when she prides herself on being a good cook most of the time.