My children are so much more intuitive than I am when it comes to technology. Hook them up to anything techie and they are off and running in no time. My son especially. Unfortunately it has become somewhat like baby "crack" for him. I swear he goes through anxiety and withdrawal if his "supply" is threatened. In saying this, the little bugger has become quite the ninja when it comes to sneaking in a little digital time. He will only be quiet in times of mischief or when he is navel deep into a not-so-much outdoor play activity. I have found him more than once...like a million more than onces...hiding in my room stealthily hacking into my computer to find just an ounce of digital heaven. He seriously has gotten into parts of my own laptop that I was unaware existed. The sad part is that I have found myself, while intending to discipline and/or redirect, in moments of awe and fully impressed. Thinking "you are brilliant....busted, but brilliant" or "dang kid, can you teach me how to do that?"

I guess it wouldn't be that big of a deal if the intensity of the "addiction" wasn't so great. His little mind goes into overdrive and he is in a euphoric state of virtual bliss. I have never been into the land of pretend somuch myself, just married to a creator of these peoples and places, so it is hard to relate all the way. I do however, understand being addicted to email or facebook. What are friends doing? Is anyone missing me? What fun little anecdotal quip is posted to entertain and delight??? Oh the utter disappointment when there is nothing but game requests and updates on some one's "ville!" So there you have it....I have "crack" of my own :).

So last night, as the day is ending, my middle was in the bath and the eldest had left to go be holy and there was an eerie hush all of a sudden. I thought "way too quiet...what is he doing?" As a normal regime of looking in every nook and corner to no avail, Hubby and I begin to panic. He was no where....not in the bathroom doing unmentionable things. Not in the closet un-organizing everything. Not in the backyard frolicking naked in the dark and cold. Where was he. We ran to the front door and realized every lock not in the position to keep him inside....now real panic. Jesus was called upon over and over and deep inside I knew He was aware and even had His eye on the boy, but yikes, this was getting intense. Mark gets in the car and drives the neighborhood and I am cataloging in my mind all the options I have. I run back inside a couple times looking again in all the obvious and not so obvious places, calling out his name. Where are you little dude...this is not funny! On my last once through I ran into my bedroom to check the backyard again and as I am turning around to head back out, a glimpse of blond catches my eye. There he was, in MY BED. He had stolen his Daddy's iphone and was filling his eyes with bright and cheerful Disney something while completely covered so we couldn't find him. When they are that small and the bed is that messy, seeing their "bump" is not always a given. Have you ever had a moment when you want to squeeze them from desperation and yet squeeze them from passionate "what the heck" all at once?? That was me at that moment. All this drama the result of the iphone and her persuasive ways. Whew....a bullet dodged...thank you Jesus!

So this morning, the same phone in question was on the bed and he comes in takes a deep whiff of it and says quite stinkerish "it smells like a phone Mama, it smells like a phone!" I am telling you, this child is in a category all of his own and I am in constant need of leveling up to keep in step with him.

The best thing about hard times is the getting to the other side. The older I get the more I realize that nothing lasts forever. That some day, I will be able to look back and see that I survived and more importantly that I have reached safety. The kicker to it all is that I have gained perspective and a launching pad for others in whatever area I was just challenged in. I can't help myself, I always want to know how everything in my life might be valuable to someone else. It is actually an awesome thing most of the time. Occasionally, I get off kilter and the pendulum swings too far and I will focus on "them" more than me or my tribe. In a very rare instance, I will disconnect from the benefit of someone else and focus on me, myself, and I. Balance is a beautiful thing and part of this quest. It is a place I am planning to fall into and rest.

So, today I am considering the other side and what that means. In my personal life, getting past poop issues with my son and contradicting conversations with my 5 year old would be a great starting point! I am attempting to see the unusual and beneficial from these things. After all they will grow up and never be back at these "creative" moments in life, right? I look at my 16 year old and try hard to remember her interesting oddities. They were less intense than the other two. She did things like believe she knew Spanish and engaged in "conversation" with people who actually spoke the language. That made for awkward times. Here this little blond thing is chatting gibberish fully believing it should make sense to the hearer. Not so much! Hilarious to remember though. I am intensely blessed to have an amazing girl....she is inspirational as a human being. All three of my small ones are phenomenally made to be who they are, right for this moment in history!

How I got there, I am not sure....but onto the other side! I think I hit on something earlier with perspective. Everything I do, everyone I meet, and every challenge I face is seen through the lens I choose to use. The old saying "If life gives you lemons, just make lemonade" is a true statement of freedom. If drama is what I desire or accept....then drama is what I will face. If peace and love is foremost important, then a sigh of release is what will come to me. Of course life deals blows unexpected that require a new level of maturity, but those are much easier dealt with when I am already resting. Resting is not first response for me at this point, unfortunately. I do believe though, that it is possible to acquire. All I need has been provided for. Everything. On the other side of pain and confusion is freedom and liberty. A new altitude above the here and now. Today must be faced and lived.....with joy and laughter. Sometimes that is much easier said than done, but it really is possible. A friend of mine just had a baby at home, with no drugs, no epidural......and in one of the hardest moments, she laughed and kept laughing. She and everyone in the room found the joy in the most painful moment. Freedom to be alive and well was released and power followed. The reality that often, the most painful creates the most incredible and beautiful! That speaks to me.....how about you?

As a mother, there have been many days I have been challenged beyond my wildest dreams. There is nothing that can prepare you for some of the adventures that await you when there is a new little person is introduced to your household. After all, they come with their own ideas, creative thought processes, and overall personalities. For the most part it is a blast watching them bloom into amazing people. There are, however, times of serious "what the....?" that side swipes you and hits you upside the head!

For this family unit I have to say our biggest "dear God what do we do with this?" would have to be our son and his inordinate affection for feces!!! YES....that is what I said! From the time the kid was quite itty bitty he has been intrigued by everything about it. Most kids at one point or another take off a poopy diaper and investigate the possibilities. Can I fling it, and make it fly? Can I smear it? Or even better, Mom is going to love what I have done with the place, it needed a new pop of color! Then there is the occasional rare bird that thinks man that smells good, what a treat!!!!! Are you barfing yet....just wait!

Try taking it even further. Our son, our precious boy and the finale to our symphony is a poop eater!!!!! I know, I know, believe me I KNOW!!!!! I cannot explain the utter revoltion and shock you experience as a parent the first time your child ingests something made only to exit a body! Walking up from the backyard with a lawn cigar and a smile. YIKES! The only saving grace for a parent in moments like these is the fall back: it's a phase. All children have them at every level of growth. They go through stages of development and obviously this particular one is in the category of "broken phases that is surely on it's way out !" Not to mention the absolute resignation to the fact that no way would he ever do it again, how gross that must taste....just plain stinking nasty!!! Unfortunately for me, and now you, he not only did it again, but would do it today given the opportunity. He loves it!(try not to judge him...or us for that matter) When we take walks and he sees a pile on the sidewalk or off to the side he lights up and starts to veer. Don't panic we stop him of course.

So I know you are wondering where I am going with all of this and how in the world could this possibly connect to anything???? I'll tell you. Today my boy is potty trained. Thank you Jesus! The day has come and the band is marching on. We, however, cannot leave him to his own devises while engaging in number 2. He must have supervision, and truth be told, he doesn't like to be alone during this "special" time anyway. So, one of us is there to sit and encourage and keep him from any bowl antics. OK, I don't know about other boys, but this kid can sit there forever. Just when I think, this is the time to get the heck out of dodge I will ask him "Honey, are you all done pooping?" He will say "Nope....still pooping." This will go back and forth quite a few times. And so I sit....waiting....waiting....waiting. Then one day I had a light bulb moment. Through all of these crazy times with this really amazing, albeit gross at times, future world re- arranger I am given opportunity to be patient. To get beyond myself and get on his level and though I may never figure out his thought processes, I get to love him anyway. I cannot lie he drives me utterly insane at times, but he is worth it. He is worth it all, and I do not know what I would do without him in my life. His life has a purpose and through my choice to be patient and willing to go with the flow (literally at times:)) I am giving him the ability to learn that although this behavior is unacceptable in most countries, he is acceptable. He is the only one of his kind...that is a for sure statement!

So there you are my friends. You are left to ponder for yourselves the craziness your life has brought you and how it has somehow made you a better person. I am forever being further developed in this area. The letting go has been and still is very difficult at times, but I have to say I am very proud of myself when it actually happens. I'll bet you are too!

Authenticity has definitions that span a far and wide distance. Each person has a unique and individual sense about them and in order for them to succeed in authenticity, they have to venture off from the pack and explore out on their own. For some, this journey is easier than for others. It is an adventure, an opportunity, an excuse to soar into greatness. The other half sees it as nothing more than a stretch that they are, at times, unwilling to allow. Life, however, dictates things to us that we have little or no control over.

On this excursion I am on, I ponder much. I find myself asking me questions." Self," I might say, "Self, are you being real right now?" OR "Linette, the feelings you are experiencing seem a bit competitive, is that really living a life of authenticity?" As you can imagine answering these questions is painful at times, but how else do I grow without the challenge, even if it comes from myself. So, one of the questions posed lately, quite frequently actually, is when are you real enough to be big enough for it to be "her" turn. What do I mean???? I can hear you asking. Well, here is my thought process. I am on this planet for many reasons, as are you. One of the purposes for our existences is to be friends, counselors, safe places to fall and ears that hear. Do you see where this is going?

There have been times in my life when it is not about me. I am not referring to unhealthy, self defeating times. On the contrary, I speak of the moments when I have been fortunate enough to be used by heaven to be a friend's tangible connection of grace. Actually, I find extreme satisfaction in that place. It comes naturally for me and is very much part of who I am. I do, however, have times when my tank is so empty that it is hard work to be there for another. In retrospect, I am realizing that there are times when that is OK. Times of need are good places, especially when recognized and heeded as such. In those times, I too have amazing relationships in my life that are a comfort and bring input and clarity.....for them I am eternally grateful!!

There have also been periods of need in someone else that have taken precedence over my current happenings. I have had moments where someone important to me is hurting immensely or breaking down in who they are temporarily. I would venture a guess, that each of you have experienced the same thing in one way or another. A balance is so necessary in these situations, and this is again where I had an epiphany moment. When I am walking the path of real and knowing and liking who I am, being available to go to the ends of the earth with a person in need is natural and attainable. Actually, here is the depth of truth in it. When we are living authentic, healthy lives we are available for others and give out of who we are. There lies the ability to say you know what it's "her turn" and I am so happy with that! What better satisfaction in life can you have than being a part of a friend's lift off into greater amazing-ness and peace? Along the way you will very possibly find another piece of you and watch your greatness bloom into a new season.

'Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for her friends.' (Jesus)